A Chance to Die

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Some might consider the picture in this post just plain old morbid, but I couldn’t help but clip it out and stow it away when I saw this thought provoking picture of bride and groom skeletons in a souvenir ad from the Chicago Field Museum.

The skeletons in the picture have something to do with pirates, I think. The skeletons I will be writing about have something to do with marriage. No, this is not a post about degrading marriage—the death I am writing about here is a different kind of death than physical death. I am writing about a harder and higher kind of death. It is death to self so that others may live. It is self-sacrifice. It is servanthood.

Elisabeth Elliot wrote a book about called A Chance to Die. Her book is about a missionary to India named Amy Carmichael. In a few days I will have a similar “chance to die” when I covenant in marriage to my best friend, and sister in Christ, Melody Nicole. The death we will enter together is a happy death, the kind of death we dream about with smiles on our faces.

Melody and I took a walk in a grave yard the other day (yes, that seals it, we are very morbid people!) we talked about how we want to die to ourselves and live for each other in our marriage.

“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” – Philippians 1:21

And

“For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.” – 1 Corinthians 7:4

Most people don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. But I do want to die to myself. And marriage will be a forging place for greater self-sacrifice, for death to my selfishness. But, you might ask, I thought marriage is a happy joy-filled thing. Being married is painless. Right?
Wrong.
Even in the most blissful of marriages there are storms. And there will be storms ahead for Melody and I, I am sure (in fact, we’ve already endured some pretty big waves). Our natural reactions to the storms of life is to look out for our own best interest, but Jesus teaches us to lay our lives down for our friends. Laying your life down for your friend is the true test of love.

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” – John 15:13

The prophet Nehemiah records a similar exhortation of love. This exhortation is violent!

“Fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes.” – Neh. 4:14

I have a favorite part in Warren Barfield’s song called “Love Is Not A Fight.” Mr. Barfield says somethings about love that are very similar to these Bible passages.

In the chorus we hear:

“Love is a shelter in a raging storm
Love is peace in the middle of a war
And if we try to leave, may God send angels to guard the door
No, love is not a fight but it’s something worth fighting for”

When I say “I Do” on our wedding day, I am promising to Melody, and to the whole world, that I am making a covenant to lay my life down for my bride. Pain or no pain, I am gladly taking this “chance to die.” Why? Because I love Melody.

Whoppee!

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Filed under Family, Josiah